I am leaving tomorrow to go to Tulsa (CK Convention) and I am sure when I get there I will have fun. I always do. I meet new people and make connections and listen to stories and return with new perspectives. The problem today is I don’t really want to leave. I’ve been home for two straight months — that’s a long time for me. I took this time off from travel because
a. we moved and
b. I thought maybe, just maybe we’d get news of our adoption in the spring and possibly meet our daughter this summer. We are still waiting to hear — the good news is, there is an empty bedroom upstairs and I could be ready in a day or two.
When I woke up this morning I thought, I’ve got to pack and my mind went blank — where’s my suitcase?
What do I bring to these things again?
I sure hope I can find everything.
I wonder where my pointer is, and my thumb drive?
I hope I can remember how to set up my computer with the projector (can’t forget that connector cord thing)
Oh, and I want to remember napkins and straws and my jogging shoes
I want to take my camera too — then I could be like Donna and Cathy and post to my blog!
So … here I sit, with a mile-long list, and all these crazy thoughts going through my mind. I really need creative energy today — I have a bunch of deadlines looming. There are things to write and projects to make and a class to work on.
Why is it I do what I do?
I like being home.
I don’t like leaving my kids.
Empty hotel rooms make me cry.
I think I’m tired — stayed up late.
I know in my heart of hearts — I feel it there, the why. Why I do this. Why I get to do this. In spite of the difficulty of it all, I am doing what I love and I know I am supposed to do it. I feel it so often and with so much assurance that I’m going to stand up and go get my suitcase and lay it open on the floor of my studio and watch myself fill it up. The rhythm of it all will come back to me — I’ll "get my game on" I’ll go to Tulsa and I’ll feel the passion of teaching and the joy of gathering with like-minded people and I’ll call home and it will all be OK.
And speaking of home, my laundry room is coming together. It’s actually smaller than my old one — so it’s been a bit of a challenge to get it all in and organized. I had to give up my three-bag sorter on wheels, but I did get a laundry chute — which next to my shoe closet is just about the coolest thing ever! Trey is showing it off here. There’s a cupboard in the boys’ bathroom upstairs that leads right down the chute to here — like magic. Open the cupboard and find more dirty clothes …
But it’s OK, I have Grandma’s iron to remind me that it could be a whole lot worse. I could be warming my iron in the coals of my fire!
And the tiles turned out so cute — don’t you think?
It’s a bright, happy place and I still have my bins — not sure how anyone does laundry without bins!
and speaking of laundry — I’ve got to wash my skirt that I want to wear on Friday and so I guess I’d better get back to work …
I leave you with this thought that I love.
Balance isn’t ‘either/or’ it’s ‘and.’
that was said my Martin Scully and it’s why I think life is so good.
A balanced life affords me the chance to go and stay home; to work and to play; to ask and to know. And is such an empowering word — brings ideas and people and seemingly incongruous things together. Makes life challenging and interesting and that’s a good and exciting thing.