and counting. All of a sudden (and it happens every year) when I think everything is fine and I’m on track with my Christmas schedule I get a strong urge to rewrite all of my lists –checking them twice, and a subtle feeling of panic sets in. I say to myself, what happened to December and how on earth am I going to do all of this in only 10 days!!! Yikes. Then I get this email from our ad rep, Jenny Grothe (who btw, sends me funny emails every now and then)
I have a hunch you might relate. It’s a little exaggerated, but not by much. In fact, as I read through it I totally remember years of Christmas mornings, when after breakfast, I would look around for my mom and find her in bed sleeping. Now I know.
Funny, Funny Mother!
See Mother.
See Mother laugh.
Mother is happy.
Mother is happy about Christmas.
Mother has many plans.
Mother has many plans for Christmas.
Mother is organized.
Mother smiles all the time.
Funny, funny Mother!
See Mother.
See Mother smile.
Mother is happy.
The shopping is all done.
See the children watch TV.
Watch children, watch.
See the children change their minds.
See them ask Santa for different toys.
Look! Look!
Mother is not smiling.
Funny, funny Mother!
See Mother.
See Mother sew.
Mother will make dresses.
Mother will make robes.
Mother will make shirts.
See Mother put the zipper in wrong.
See Mother sew the dress on the wrong side.
See Mother cut the skirt too short.
See Mother
Put the materials away until January.
Look! Look!
See Mother take a tranquilizer.
Funny, funny Mother!
See Mother.
See Mother buy raisins and nuts.
See Mother buy candied pineapple
And powdered sugar.
See Mother buy flour, dates, pecans,
Brown sugar, bananas and spices.
Look! Look!
Mother is mixing everything together.
See the children press out cookies.
See the flour on their elbows.
See the cookies burn.
See the cake fall.
See the children pull taffy.
See Mother pull her hair.
See Mother clean the kitchen
With the garden hose.
Funny, funny Mother!
See Mother.
See Mother wrap presents.
See Mother look for the end
On the Scotch tape roll.
See Mother bite her fingernails.
See Mother go.
See Mother go to the store
Ten times in one hour.
Go Mother, go.
See Mother go faster.
Run, Mother, run!
See Mother trim the tree.
See Mother have a party.
See Mother make popcorn.
See Mother wash the walls.
See Mother scrub the rug.
See Mother tear up organized plan.
See Mother forget gift for Uncle Harold.
See Mother get hives.
Go, Mother, go!
See the faraway look in Mother’s eyes.
Mother has become disorganized.
Mother has become disoriented.
Funny, funny Mother!
It is finally Christmas morning.
See the happy family.
See Father smile.
Father is happy.
Smile, Father, smile.
Father loves fruitcake.
Father loves Christmas pudding.
Father loves all his new neckties.
Look! Look!
See the happy children.
See the children’s new toys.
Santa was very good to the children.
The children will remember this Christmas.
See Mother.
Mother is slumped in a chair.
Mother is crying uncontrollably.
Mother does not look well.
Mother has ugly dark circles
Under her bloodshot eyes.
Everyone helps Mother to her bed.
See Mother sleep quietly
Under heavy sedation.
See Mother smile.
Funny, funny Mother!
Ha!
that’s too stinking funny!!! i don’t even have kids and that’s exactly how i feel some Christmases!!
LOVE it. Thanks for making me laugh (I had thought I’d make homemade wrapping paper with the 3 year old….yeah, not this year.)
Oh, how I can relate, each and every year…I am the same way, list or no list. Loved it and can’t wait to share it with my friends.
that is the cutest thing I’ve read all season. I’ll share it with all my girlfriends (lucky, lucky mothers).
omgosh I am dying! That is the funniest thing!
too funny! I’m having the same “where did December go” musings!!
When I finish laughing I am going to share this with my girl friends. They will relate to this too. Thanks for sharing and tell Jenny thanks too.
I love it! Especially the see mother go to the store 10 times in one hour bit – I think I’ve done that! Thanks for the laugh!
I am way into “it’s not funny” mode! If I could just get one room clean and decorated. My one accomplishment…the gifts are all bought and wrapped!
So true and can’t wait to share it will all my girlfriends, they are going to love this!
How true! I too, suffer from “Where did December go?”. I’m having my in-laws for Christmas for the first time ever. I hope this isn’t me by the time it’s over. (Maybe I should lower my expectations for a Norman Rockwell Christmas???)
as I wipe the coffee from the keyboard, I think “how true”.
Thanks for the laugh!
Funny and so darn true! Made me feel a little bit better about my own Christmas check list!
AAAACK – so true! Why are we the ones with all the pressure to make everyone’s Christmas perfect?
Are you ok in all that storming up there?
Oh my goodness, that rings a little too close to home! *grin* Thanks for giving me a chuckle.
That’s hysterical! I especially love the part about the father . . .
Thanks for sharing
Thanks . . . I needed that!! If I forward it to my husband, do you think he’ll finally understand!? (NOT!)
Oh way too true and way too funny. I’m not even a mom, just a nanny, but it still holds true! Thanks for making me laugh stacy!
I just read this to my husband and 3 sons and we just howled with laughter! Thanks for the “funny!”
no doubt!
I was wondering if your ever hiring at the magazine?
Love the poem and it is soooo true!
Hang in there and get the important things done and leave the rest!
Merry Christmas!
Sue
I needed this link today.
Reality.
Thank YOU!
Peace of the season, my foot.:D
LOL. I’m so feelin’ it now.
Love the poem.
Have a wonderful christmas.
Oh My Gosh, this is hilarious! I could relate and didn’t even get 1/4 done of what this mother did!
Thanks for posting this. Nice to know this is the norm apparently and not just my family!!
Hi Stacy!! I have been watching you on clique TV and have to ask where you got that awesome wall unit for your alphabets! It is amazing and I have been searching for something similar for ages. I found an apothecary table with 16 drawers but it is £399GBP which is waaaayy to much!
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas!
This is one of the funniest Christmas stories I’ve ever read. And it’s so true! Thank you so much for posting it here. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!
We had a sister preform that at our ward Christmas party. Dressed in a tattered pink robe wearing curlers in her hair. Brave woman, that’s all I have to say.