Gone, day 5

IMG_0040 Today is a very special day.

IMG_0028Because … today, eleven years ago I gave birth to a baby boy who completely changed my perspective on motherhood.

IMG_0035I was not happy when I found out I was having a third boy. I wanted a little girl. I was overwhelmed with two little boys and a husband that was a very busy medical resident. Everyone told me that the third child was the hardest — the one that would put you "over the top." I was worried and wondered WHY?


But I quickly learned that what "they" didn't know (I didn't really know it either — yet) was that Heavenly Father knew exactly what I needed. He knew that I needed to "specialize" and that like my great-great grandmother Minnie McDougal (mother to 10 sons) I would discover unbelievable joys in raising boys.  Heavenly Father sent me Trey and Trey kept me up at night so we could spend time together, alone — but Trey also made me laugh and helped me find my groove as a mother. He was and still is incredibly loving and easy to be with and talk to. He came with a wonderful sense of confidence and an easy-going nature that attracts others to him …

IMG_0026 So, every year when the air cools and the leaves start to turn I get to celebrate this boy and FALL a little more in love with him and the idea that what we think we want isn't always what we need. 

Trey … it's your special DAY, and since Dad and I are in Japan, we have something special for you. I've asked Jennifer to have you read this blog post when you wake up, so I can tell you to go look in the laundry chute … and see what you find.

Here's a little Happy Birthday HINT:


In your FAVORITE COLOR (of course.)

love you!



  1. So wonderful Stacy. I am a mother of two young boys ages 5 and 3. Some days I feel like I am losing my mind. But I do love my boys. My husband and I are currently having a debate about trying for a third one. So many questions and worried… would it be another boy? Would it put me “over the top”. Perhaps I should just let it all be and wait for life has in store for me, but maybe a third (even if it is a boy) wouldn’t be so bad. Happy Birthday Trey!

  2. Happy Birthday Trey!
    I have 3 boys (all grown up now)and they were wonderful growing up! You and your brothers are lucky to have such wonderful parents who love you very much.
    So what did you find in the laundry chute?

  3. Happy Birthday Trey! My Twins (Buddy & Punkin) are 9 today and love that they are sharing their Big Day with you!!! Have a Fantastic Birthday!!

  4. Scrappy Angel says:

    Happy Birthday Trey!!!!! Hope your gift was exactly what you wanted. Have a great day.

  5. This is so cool. I hope Trey has a great day and a better year. Also as a mother, I just hope that someday I can be as cool and good as you!

  6. Happy Birthday Trey!!! You have some of the best parents in the world! Enjoy your day, and I am sure that the celebration will continue when your mom and dad get home!Have a great Birthday day!

  7. HaPpY bIrThDaY!!! To Trey and to me to. Happy first day of fall.

  8. What a beautiful post.

  9. From another mother of 3 boys who wanted a girl, thanks for sharing. Somehow it’s always nice to know I’m not the only one who’s felt this way. Happy birthday to your sweet boy from me and my sweet boys!

  10. Awwww….I’m crying because that was so beautiful, especially since you are away.
    Happy Birthday Trey!

  11. carol in seattle :) says:

    Happy Birthday Trey! You have such cool parents! (and Stacy – I totally get where you’re coming from – I have three boys of my own!)

  12. Happy Birthday, Trey! I also have a boy whose birthday is today – he is 22 today and his name is Greg. He is a very special young man and was my sweet buddy when he was growing up. I know your mom is as proud of you as I am of MY birthday boy!

  13. Lucky boy!! Lucky momma!

  14. Great Post! Enjoy your birthday present Trey they are the best….. and by the way, if I had to choose between three boys and three girls, um let me think!?! I would choose 5 boys anytime. Don’t get me wrong I love my girls but there is just something about my boys ;)

  15. Happy Birthday Trey! It’s my birthday too and it is nice to share the day with such a loved young man!!! Enjoy your iPod!!!

  16. Oh what a cute boy!! Happy Happy Birthday!!!

  17. Happy Birthday Trey! If we lived in the same universe, he would be a perfect friend for my 11yo. Happy-go-lucky, easy-going, friendly, joyful. I like the concept of specializing – who else will raise a powerful generation of capable, loving men who grow up to be marvelous missionaries and righteous fathers?

  18. Happy Birthday, Trey! It’s my birthday, too! I also have an 11 year old, and she would love to be getting an ipod!! Enjoy your day!!

  19. Happy Birthday Trey!!
    Hope you’re enjoying your special present from mom and dad!!

  20. Happy birthday Trey, enjoy your iPod. I felt the same when I was having my third son, he was supposed to be the girl, by number four I was just resigned to having boys,lol. My number three sounds a lot like Trey, very loving, easy going(now, not when he was little), an entertainer and does well at so many things (I think they learn that sink or swim attitude when they are third, be exceptional or get lost in the crowd,lol)Looking back now I am so glad I have all boys, although I do on odd occasions miss a little pink around the house.

  21. Karen Greenfield says:

    It’s my birthday too–and I am 60 and feel incredibly old…this will pass, I know! Did you know it’s also Frodo and Bilbo’s birthday?? Wish we were all under the party tree with those lovely fireworks!! What color is your IPOD–mine is yellow, my favorite color. xxKaren

  22. Stacy, you are such a cool Mom, what a great post! Happy Birthday Trey from downunder NZ – hope you have a great birthday and enjoy that iPOD!

  23. Happy birthday Trey! Hope you had a fab birthday!
    Oh Stacy! I cried reading your post! you have such a fantastic way of writing honestly & reminding me that I should always keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. It’s amazing how God works in our hearts through our children. I had baby boys number 2 & 3 together (twins). My eldest son was 18 months old when I found out that I was having twin boys. I remember freaking out & praying to God ‘How can I cope with this??’ A friend said to me at the time when I told her I was having twins ‘God obviously knows you are the right woman for the job!’ I didn’t really believe her then but 6 years later I think I am starting to get it! good job God knows what he’s doing eh? ;o)
    Hope you are having a fabulous time away. In the UK there is an advert for the drink Oasis on tv at the moment which is set in Japan & it has a huge yellow duck in it called Duckzilla!!!! Perhaps it’s the same one?? :D

  24. Happy Birthday Trey!
    Stacy, what a beautiful post. I hope you enjoyed your stay in Osaka,Japan. I am so much fun and inspired from you at your class and happy time alltogether at CKU-Japan and look forward to having you in my country again in the future! Love,

  25. Happy Birthday Trey! I am the mother of 3 boys and I wouldn’t trade any of them for a girl. Stacy, you are right when you say “what we think we want isn’t always what we need”.

  26. Happy Belated Birthday, Trey! Your mom made me cry with this post. As a mom of a son, I can say that having him first was one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life. Stacy, I love reading your “mom” posts, because although I don’t know you personally, your family seems to be such a fun, loving, close-knit group. You are so blessed, and in turn bless all of us. Thank you for sharing this special day with us!

  27. Awwww. This was so sweet, Stace!

  28. I have two sons (one just born) and even though I technically hoped he would be a ‘she’, I’m so glad I don’t get to choose. He’s the best little baby and I’m so in love with him – if I was in total control, I might have missed out on this sweet little spirit – and that’s something I think you understand after reading this post!
    Now, I DO hope to get a little girl someday – I hope she comes next because I have a little name and cute baby girl clothes already stockpiling (I can’t help myself):) BUT – - if I’m never given a girl to raise, I often tell myself that this world needs more good men. If I am given only boys to raise, I will do my best and fulfill my mission to raise those boys into good, honest men. Thanks for your words!

  29. Beautiful!

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