life has been really hard for the last several weeks–maybe even the whole month of April. I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve felt overwhelmed and under-prepared more often than not. I’m getting older and maybe even starting the whole menopause thing (who knows?) I’m wanting badly to slow down and adjust my daily schedule and expectations. I’m super excited to have an office off of my kitchen, but I’m tired of living with construction (and I feel guilty for complaining.) Speaking of complaining, I guess I’ve done a lot of that lately–at least my husband says so. I finally wore him out on Friday evening, and he let me know. Yikes!
My physical strength and energy are not what they used to be and yet my family is just as crazy, busy, demanding as ever (maybe even more so.) I adore my little Addie, but let’s face it, toddlers are super intense.
I tweaked my toe over a year ago and it has bothered me ever since. I put off doing anything about it and now it’s getting really bad–I can’t run or do yoga (I can still do my Elipse machine), but I’m finally paying attention to it and seeing what can be done. I used to have a full hour of quiet in the morning, but now Addie wakes up with Chase at 5:30 and so I get maybe a good 15 minutes. I consider quiet early mornings and running two of my best coping strategies — it’s safe to say I’m not coping very well without them and I think this may be bringing on the bouts of negativity (referenced by my hubby.)
Since launching stacyjulian.com I sometimes (ok, generally when “Aunt Flow” comes) feel so much pressure. I used to “ignore” my blog if I didn’t feel like writing, but now I have this low-hanging anxiety about making it all work all of the time. What’s up with that?
So, wow … what a wonderful thing to read on a Monday, eh? A positive uplift from Stacy J. Here’s a few of my Picture Spring photos to prove it’s not all doom and gloom …
I think the reason I’m ok sharing this today is because this weekend was a turning point. I know that another of my best coping strategies is cleaning and organizing and there are a few rooms and spaces in my home that have been bugging me–so, I tackled one on Saturday. I took out the frustration (directed at my husband and everything else) and turned it into productivity in our toy room.
I threw away and gave away two HUGE big garbage bags full of stuff. I organized two closets and basically transformed the area from little boy to mostly little girl. I have a few items left to wrap up, but it feels SO GOOD to have accomplished this. It took about 5 hours–which included the run to Target and Fred Meyer and you should have seen Addie when we were done!
Anyway, by Saturday evening I was *almost* all the way better. Yesterday, I fasted and prayed extra hard and opened up to my husband and he listened (he really is a very good man–it’s not easy being married to a wound-up, emo girl like me!)
We’re putting our new family-jobs plan into place tonight. And just so you know, I’m “paying” my kids now, because I’m done paying for them. It’s going to take some real effort, but I’m done handing out money here and there for odds and ends. Essentials — got it covered. Treats, toys, games, movies, DVDs, extra clothes, birthday parties (yes, they can purchase gifts for their friends) and other activities are now my kids’ responsibility. They know the “top dollar” they can earn and they can get paid Saturdays at noon, when they bring me their “time card” and report how well they did. They will tell me how much they earned, we’ll review their efforts together (if necessary) and I’ll write Clark and Chase a check and give the younger boys cash. They’ll all have a checkbook record to keep track of funds in.When we run errands together, I’ll remind them to bring some money if they want to–we might drive through Dairy Queen or something, but they’ll need to pay. Of course, I’ll still splurge some of the time, but those times will be the exception. We are very blessed as a family and I’m feeling like my children don’t quite “get it,” so … wish me MORE luck!
I’m sure if you have children you relate to the need to invent and re-invent. I am feeling very hopeful this morning and am extremely happy that it is not raining and the painters are here to paint our addition on the outside and finish up the trim on the inside. I’m preparing to unveil what I’ve done so far and I’m almost giddy with how things are turning out!
Lots of other things that are good and happy …
Chase was startled by a mouse in the house (laundry room to be exact) last Thursday. Geoff was ready broom in hand, but I talked him into catch and release. I can do rodent and small snakes, but NOT spiders. Anyway, he was a cute little mouse and I was so pleased I got to show him to Addie.
Found these adorable little blank books at Fireworks in the Seattle airport and bought them for my mom, aunt Shirley and sisters and sisters-in-law. We are all getting together this weekend (we haven’t had an official girls weekend in probably 3 or 4 years!) And everyone is coming to my house.
There is much more to be grateful for and I’m glad that I’m back in a place where I can recognize that more readily.
Life is hard, but so good!
Stay tuned for a cool giveaway from my sponsor Helmar (wonderful adhesives) coming soon!