It’s not about the nail.

Nearly 6 million people have viewed this video, so there is a good chance you’ve seen this already.

My sister told me about it a month or so ago, so Geoff and I looked it up. At first I didn’t love it, because (I think) it portrays women as having silly/obvious problems that they can’t or won’t see or don’t want to fix. But, now that I’ve watched it a few times, I think it is really funny—it is afterall, a parody designed to help us lighten up and laugh at ourselves.

Last night and this morning, Geoff and I attended a fun marriage retreat planned and executed by a committee of several married couples (with at least two marriage counselors) in our stake (several LDS congregations) and one of the presenters showed this video. We’re coming up on 24 years of marriage, so I’m well aware of the differences between men and women and have found that IF you want to stay married, a desire to seek to understand differences is VERY HELPFUL.

Anyway, watch and weigh in.
Do you like it? Why or why not?



Stay tuned, tomorrow I’m going to explain why women are like spaghetti and men are like waffles  …

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  1. Not sure if I like it or not . . . but it certainly demonstrates how we often make things more difficult than they really are!

  2. I loved it, because I saw myself and my husband. I am always trying to explain my point of view, and I’m sure he sees whatever our argument is about very differently, in his viewpoint, and no matter what, there are times we are not going to agree, no matter what the “elephant in the room” is. It is just about how we give and take, how we understand each other’s feelings and how we talk to one another that matters. We may not really understand what the other is trying to express, but we can sympathize and give our support. THAT is what true marriage is about. Loved it and thank you for sharing! I will definitely have to let my hubby see this. He will sooooooo see us in this!

  3. Men are definitely action oriented and fixers. Women talk to process feelings, emotions and problems while men are trying to fix what appears to be the problem rather than just listening which is what the woman typically wants.

  4. That was too funny…and true! Guys do always want to fix things and move on.

  5. Funny and very accurate. I could see aspects of my relationship in this, for sure! I emailed it to my husband.

  6. Have to agree with Melissa – was not that funny but I do agree I make more out of things then really need to. Reminds me to lighten up.

  7. I’ve seen it before and I did think it was funny. It highlights the differences between men and women. In general, we process problems by talking through them, getting advice, mulling it over. Men, again in general, just want to fix it, even if that solution results in a different problem. We could both benefit by mixing the 2 styles – sometimes they need to process & talk things through more and sometimes we need to just make the decision already and move on.

  8. I had a conference way back my corporate days and the topic was Understanding Men and Women and there they explained why women are spaghetti and why men are waffles haha! Too funny after that, I began to understand my husband better :)

  9. Yep, it’s pretty hilarious. And deep (sorry, couldn’t resist).

  10. I found it hilarious. That is definitely how my husband sometimes feels—wanting so badly to share what he thinks is the obvious fix for whatever is bothering me, when –at least for me—the thing that is bothering me most is not being heard.

    The joke goes both ways though, because the accurate part is how men act/how frustrated they are with not being able to fix things, which would be appropriate if it were as simple as a nail in our foreheads. Unfortunately for them, the issues are never that simple or obvious, even though they like to think they are.

  11. Cheri Stine says:

    Just loved it. wouldn’t it be great if our issues were as obvious as the nail? But then, It’s not about the nail, is it?

  12. Lisa M. Zepponi says:

    I LOL!!!! Reminds me how My husband and i can both be a “bit” stubborn at times, not willing to listen or try each other’s suggestion; that we both have to “right”.

  13. I didn’t like it at first either, but it is a fun parody and very well done. As much as women want to be listened to, we are often the ones that don’t take the time to hear out our spouses…sometimes men actually DO have good suggestions.

  14. I agree with your first reaction, that it portrays women as having obvious problems that they aren’t willing to address “head on” haha. But it also portrays men as having the solution (and the right one at that) to these obvious problems, which they don’t always have. The assumption here is that taking the nail out would solve her pain, but taking the nail out could also create more pain, make her bleed, open up a wound she doesn’t want open. (I think the analogy can apply to lots of life situations, where the obvious solution might actually make things worse.)

    I do recognize myself and my husband in this video. We have had a similar conversation many times. I think a good discussion could be sparked by talking about what would happen if she removed the nail or asking both sides why she doesn’t remove the nail. Or even saying what is it about, if it’s not about the nail? Want is the greater wound?

    • That last question should have been “What is the greater wound?”

    • Sure it might make it worse to take out the nail, and it might bleed, etc, but do you really think it’s better to leave it in there forever? Even if the wound is worse at first, it will finally be able to heal, and get better permanently.

  15. Funny how when he agreed with her she was so happy. But when he was trying to fix it and not listen she wasn’t happy. This can be true. Maybe we need to listen to our husbands sometimes because they are straight shooters and see the obvious. We are feelers and talkers and eventually end up at the same conclusion…eventually.

  16. Um, I’m really impressed that he sat there and kept listening to her. I have to say that in my 40 year marriage, there are many times when that would not happen, nail or not. At least he is making an effort!

  17. Carol in the Land of Oz says:

    OMG–that is soooooo funny! So see myself and my husband & 31 years of marriage! Just had something the other day so similar with some boxes that needed to be moved. I can’t wait to share this with him! If you can’t laugh at yourself, life has got to be impossible!

  18. They nailed it.

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